aired Dec. 17, 2011 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: Newt Gingrich
Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the week of December 18th, 2011.
What do you do when a man who represents so many wrong things gets one thing incredibly, magnificently right?
That is the question facing voters following Newt Gingrich’s performance in the G.O.P. debates last week. Asked about his unwavering support for Israel, the presidential candidate made clear that Israel is a friend, and that the Arabs are no friend to Israel. He reminded the world that, quote, “every day, rockets are fired into Israel” – something people forget when they bitch about Israel’s aggressiveness or targeting of Hezbollah.
Gingrich also said the magic words, “It’s fundamentally time for somebody to stand up and say, `enough lying about the middle east,’” unquote. Considering that every other liberal is a Palestinian apologist, and every news program bends over backwards to make it look like Israel and Hamas are two sides of the same coin, it’s a pleasure to hear somebody say, “No, Israel is a legitimate homeland, the Arabs invented Palestinia just to have a grudge.”
Naturally, the media jumped on Gingrich saying, “well, of course there’s a Palestine, and of course some Arabs lived there.” And the Arabs jumped on him for saying they’re terrorists. Talk about the pot calling the camel black.
And just to seal the deal of Newt being a mensch on this, he also reminded the world that Hamas and the Palestinians still refuse to recognize Israel as a place on the map. Which means if you’re in Jordan, and you wanna take a dip in the Mediterranean, you’d better take a pretty goddamn long jump.
Now, Mitt Romney admonished Gingrich for stirring the pot, for inciting the Arabs with his words. But Mitt, if the Arabs are so peaceful and non-violent, why are you terrified of what they might do?
Just to be clear, Romney and the other candidates also affirmed their support for Israel. They ganged up on Gingrich, but it’s not like he’s the only one saying rah-rah Jewish homeland. Does this mean the Republicans are pandering to the Jewish vote? Sure! And more power to them! Pander pander pander! Makes a nice change from us having to go to Obama and grovel sometimes. Not all the time – he’s a friend – but sometimes.
Politicians on both sides pander to every special interest group, from oil frackers to casino builders, so if Republicans wanna make nice-nice to the only democracy in the middle east, I’m down with that. And if Newt Gingrich is the only one with the stones to really tell it like it is, that should be taken into consideration.
Alas for him, we also have to take into consideration that Newt is anti-gay, anti-art funding, and not exactly a fan of separating church from state. Last week he called my house. Well, not him, some kind of automatic tape recorder. It called my house to lambaste Obama and decry the way America has gone downhill under his stewardship. So I heard the usual Republican shpiel about taxes, and too much government and taking America back. But Newt also tossed in the word “secular.” In a negative way. We must rescue America from the godless blue staters and their secular ways.
Well, “sec” on this, Newt. America may be one nation under God, but it ain’t for you to say which God that is. For me, it’s HaShem. For you it’s the bearded guy. For the Chinese, it’s a bunch of dead ancestors. Which must be pretty confusing for a Chinese kid wondering which god to ask for a bike for Christmas. “Is it great-great-grandma Chong? No, she only gives musical instruments. What about Uncle Gao from the Tang Dynasty? No he’s the one who pays you when your teeth fall out. Crap, I know I’ll get another sweater, I know it!”
But I digress. Let’s give a qualified cheer to Newt Gingrich. I can’t say he has my vote, but he has my gratitude for pushing past the platitudes with the fortitude and certitude of his attitude. Keep at it, dude.
This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches.
(c) 2011 TotalTheater. All rights reserved.